Remember – you can choose what to think about any situation.
You can choose to believe that someone is scary, or better than you or unmanageable and feel the accompanying negative emotions (working for you??
Look at the other person as someone to figure out and understand rather than someone to challenge. This is a generalisation but I have come across many clients who seem intensely gruff on the outside but once you get to know them, you realise it’s all a ‘front’.
Ask questions such as “and how is that going to work? They have, more often than not, adapted this behaviour to cover up their own insecurities.
The person who had come to talk to us explained that the aggressive and intimidating behaviour that we received most days from those held in Broadmoor was more about them than it was about us.
There is a very clever way to deal with this situation.
Every single one of us was a child once, fairly powerless and open to the rules, restrictions and attitudes of the ‘powerful’ adults around us.
She went on to explain that these negative behaviours were projections of inner misery and chaos.
Ever since then, when I meet someone who spews out anger and negativity, it offers me a glimpse of how awful their internal experience of the world is.