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Remembering how my first round of dates went, I decided to tweak my bio. “I’ve contemplated putting that out here, but honestly I can’t deal with any more jerks, so please save us both the time and message me only if you’re interested.I’m completely functional in all aspects, including ‘down there.’”A handful of guys messaged me to say they admired me for being a “badass” about it.The opposite side of the argument is: Don’t put it there, and let them get to know you. [Then], you’ll reveal you have a disability, and they won’t care. Yes, they might get to know you and really have feelings for you, but when you reveal you have a disability, they could feel lied to.It’s just like people being dishonest with their age, weight or marital status.But unlike the people on the MTV show, I hadn’t fabricated my identity.I just hadn’t told him about my disability, one of many parts of my identity.
Every person with a disability is different, but able-bodied people often have a one-size-fits-all notion of them; they often mistakenly think people with disabilities aren’t capable of independence or being sexually active. “I think [disclosure of your disability] needs to be written on your profile and there needs to be pictures that show you have a disability,” wrote Dr.
“Less is more these days, so you gotta put a hook to it,” he says.
“I tell people not to overshare.”When I started using dating apps in my early college years, I chose not to mention my disability in my bio.
Since I rely on my wheelchair only for transport and can walk independently, I don’t have that many pictures of myself in it.
I live in this in-between area where my disability isn’t that severe but is still noticeable.
It is in part because of this mindset that people with disabilities often date much later in life than their non-disabled peers do, and their rate of marriage is half the national average. Department of Labor, people with disabilities make up the nation’s largest minority group, comprising almost 50 million individuals. Danielle Sheypuk, a NYC-based therapist who specializes in the psychology of dating, relationships, and sexuality for the disabled population in a widely-shared column last year.